Exams are over

I had my last exam of the year this morning. It is a huge relief having them out of the way, after what has been a tough few months.

I have to say my college has been very supportive since my diagnosis. I had two big projects due on the same day, both of which will form 25% of my final grade in each subject, and I began to feel overwhelmed. I asked for a meeting with both professors, and explained the situation (as well as showing them copies of my medical notes, so show I wasn’t bluffing), and they agreed to stagger the submission dates for me. This was a huge weight off my shoulders, and allowed me to do my absolute best on both projects, and I’m incredibly grateful to my professors.

My college adviser has also been a Godsend for me; a couple of weeks before the exams started, she searched the internet, and found lots of advice on coping with exams when you have depression. She printed it all off for me, and then we went through it all together, discussing which advice would work for me. The main thing I took from it, was to only study for exams when I was in a good place, and not to try and force myself to study when I was feeling down. Even though this obviously reduces the amount of time available to study, as my adviser said, it’s quality of study/revision, not the quantity of it.

Anyway, I think it paid off, because I feel like the exams went okay. Although that may be wishful thinking on my part.

I must admit though, now my exams are over, I have a slight feeling of dread about returning home for the summer. I was in college when diagnosed, and therefore the college community has been my main source of support since, so I’m starting to worry about how I’ll cope when I’m away from it. I have a session with my therapist later and I will discuss these feelings with her then. She has referred me to a therapist closer to home for the summer period, it’s someone she worked with previously, and she’s confident her former colleague will be a good fit for me.

Despite the fog of depression, I’m still able to recognize the incredible support I’ve received from so many, and I feel incredibly blessed because of it.